Clever Cookies

This is maybe my 4th cooking/baking post on here but I daresay it will definitely be my best.

I have one cabinet in my kitchen devoted to holding JUST the ingredients for the following recipe. I make sure that I am always stocked with these ingredients for the most wonderful chocolate chip cookies in the world:

3/4 c unsalted butter, softened (one stick and a half...but Jay made them once with a stick and 3/4...and they were good too)
3/4 c. brown sugar
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1 egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 c. all purpose flour
2 tsp. cornstarch
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 c. bittersweet chocolate chips

1. Preheat your stone-age oven with no digital display or beeping sounds to 350 degrees

2. In the neat stainless steel bowls your mom got you for your birthday, cream together butter (that you microwaved for 1 minute) and sugars until fluffy and light in color.

3. Add 1 egg and vanilla and keep on' mixin'

The next part gets kind of messy, so be sure you use the lid with a hole in the top to cover your bowl. It's for a stand mixer but you don't mess around with that shit in your kitchen.

4. Mix in flour, cornstarch, baking soda and salt

5. Scrape the sides with a bowl scraper to incorporate the flour into the mix

YOU'RE DONE! EAT IT NOW!...is what you will want to say to yourself. But have faith, the hard parts are over and it will only get more delicious from here.

6. Stir in those delicious chocolate morsels that you've been eating out of the bag since we started.

YOU'RE DONE! EAT IT NOW!...and you will. You are allowed ONE tablespoon of dough, and then you have to restrain yourself...okay...one more and...okay, just ONE more...

7. Use the tablespoon that's still dripping with your saliva and drop the dough onto the foil-lined baking sheet (because dishwashers are for rich people)

There are 34 cookies there. If you wanted it to be an even 3 dozen, you could be a little more careful with your dollop-sizes. OR you could ball them up with your hands like a savage and put them on the sheet. But aint nobody got time for that.

8. Bake for 10-ish minutes. They should be BARELY golden brown around the edges. DON'T bake longer than 10 minutes.

9. Take them out when they're done. Let them cool on the pan, then transfer them to the one cooling rack you have and then your flipped-over pizza pan. Because it's really the same thing.

10. Don't eat them all...seriously. Take it slow.

Love from the Flanagan-Rudd kitchen!