Chill

Warning: May contain information you can never un-know about my bowel movements.

Ever since high school, my stomach has been the center for my anxiety. I never throw up or get nauseous when I'm anxious. I sometimes have 30-minute sessions in the nearest bathroom, intensely embarrassed (especially if it was in a public space) which will, in turn, increase my anxiety and make my insides churn evermore. I'm sure it's brought on by some kind of food but I haven't narrowed down what it is yet.

In the last few years I've tried to find ways to cope with my irritable bowels, trying not to turn to medication (I was prescribed something a long time ago for IBS but the side-effects were not worth it). I become highly sensitive to everything that my senses take in when I get like this. I want to murder someone for saying "Hi!"...mere thoughts of future worries can send me over the edge into a wave of pain. I've come to realize that my mind is the perpetrator in all of this and I've been searching for ways to control its wrath. For now I'm satisfied with putting a towel over my head and pulling down on it whilst covering my ears to block out every sound save for my deep breathing while I wait for things to...pass...

A few months ago I found this great blog Rejuvenation Lounge. It's been very beneficial to me in controlling my irrelevant and unhelpful thoughts. I also got a cookbook in .PDF format full of foods that are good for the body and soul. Check it out, relax a moment. I've found great enjoyment in relaxation, but it takes great effort for me to get there.

Jay Update: Surgery was a success (as far as we can tell). He's in a lot of pain, post-op. Movement isn't so good for him. He can't bend forward very far and needs some help maneuvering from spot to spot, but we knew it would be this way for at least a week. The day when he doesn't need narcotics to control his pain is almost visible on the horizon.